Chuck and I have been married for 21 years, and when I heard the announcement in the fall about the marriage conference, I knew I wanted to go. I love being married and I look forward to time with my husband applying biblical truths and being challenged. When I heard the topic, Mercy in Marriage, I knew I was really going to be challenged. Of the two of us, Chuck would be stronger in mercy.

There were so many things shared by Dave Harvey in the 3 sessions entitled, “Sin in Marriage”, “Mercy in Marriage”, and “Grace in Marriage”, that challenged and provoked me. But the one thing that stood out was when he was relating a story of a young husband and wife. When the husband would bring correction to the wife, she would run to her room, throw herself on her bed, and weep. How did the husband respond? He would follow her to the bedroom, sit in a chair near the bed, and speak to her gently, encouraging her, until she quieted. Then, he would go back to the original correction and finish. Dave Harvey summarized it this way, “He came toward her in her sin.” That statement paralyzed me.

How do I respond when others don’t respond well to me? More often that not, I hold them at arm’s length. I may even walk away from them, whether it’s physically or emotionally. Or, worse, I may chastise them. It is not in my nature to go towards people in their sin. I am self-righteous and I am forgetting the mercy extended toward me.

Eph. 2:4-5,

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love for which He loved us,

even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ..”

The ministry of mercy produces sympathy, not self-righteousness. Mercy is applied compassion in thought, word, and deed.

When we returned home, we were able to get together with the Bauers and ask lots of questions pertaining to our parenting. They faithfully led us to apply mercy to our children. We left feeling hopeful and changed.

This truth has impacted the atmosphere in our home – in our marriage and in our parenting. There is much more joy in place of strife. There has been much more sympathy where before there would have been judging. There is more love expressed where before there would have been much criticism. It has changed the way we think and the way we view those around us.

I was affected by many other areas addressed as well, like,

 Considering your spouse may simply be weak in an area, not sinning

 Asking yourself if you make your spouse feel foolish in their weakness

 Encouragement that we have opportunities to simply overlook sin

 5 Steps on how to bring correction if something should not be overlooked

 And that God actually ordained weakness in those around you so that you could grow in godliness.

This is just a sampling of the material brought to us in the “Mercy” session. I left convicted but not condemned because there is much hope in the gospel. I am the biggest sinner I know. And that is where I need to stay.

 Vikki Walters